Maybe the title for this blog doesn’t give too much away, but this is more of a personal story about my name and why it upsets me so. My surname officially is my family name, but when I do think about it it’s a bit of a joke to even consider it my family name as the whole definition of family is that it includes a mother, father, and children all living together under one roof. Also, some might say a family can be anything that involves love. To which I neither of this applies when I look back at my “Family” name. It sickens me every time I see a letter, email or anything official that addresses me by my full official name.
Whilst I was living at home, things were awful to say the least. There was no love or happiness and my only escape and to be social was to be at work. Thankfully my now fiancé then rescued me, and we escaped. We have now lived happily together for two years this summer.
So, what am I doing about it? Well whenever I can I don’t use my surname but have hijacked my partners surname as this feels just right. I have a connection with it through my partner. So, it appears on some social media platforms & my personal email address (Just the unofficial stuff). But when this can’t be used and then I see my family name, I can’t help but be taken back to this unhappy time which made up a huge part of my life. I know once I’m married, I will take my partners surname, and this will become my official surname and this day can’t come soon enough! But I don’t want my partner to ever feel that I’m only ever marrying him for the name. So, every now and then the notion comes to be about changing my name to something different by deed poll. Then this begs the question of what it could be changed to that is meaningful to me but then isn’t connected to my “Family” name.